What is Failure?
Failure is a state or condition of not achieving a desirable goal or intended objective; it can be considered the opposites of success. We all experience failure in our life but some people know how to learn from it to be more successful in the future. It is a state of mind. It’s natural to try to avoid things that could end in failure. It can be embarrassing and painful. Failure can be defined as a lack of success or the inability to meet an expectation.
This is a fact that everyone fails in something or the other at some point in their lives. Failure can be useful. We can learn from it, gain new insights, and do better next time. The right kind of failures gives us new information and teaches us something that gets us closer to our goals.
Factors affecting failure/ reasons for failure
Unwilling to take risks- One of the important factors of getting success is risk. Risk does not mean gambling blindly and behaving irresponsibly. Risk-taking is relative. The concept of taking risk differs from person to person and can be result of training. It is based on deep study, careful training and knowledge, confidence and competence which give us the courage to act while facing fear. It is habit-forming and contagious. Take risks but don’t gamble. Risk-takers go with their eyes open. Gamblers shoot in the dark.
Lack of persistence- Failing does not mean we are failures. Most people fail not just because they lack knowledge or talent but they quit. The secret of success lies in two words, persistence and resistance. Persist in what must be done and resist what ought not to be done. Emerson says- “A man is a hero not because he is braver than anyone else but because he is brave for ten minutes longer.”
Winners are stuck but not destroyed. We all have had setbacks in life. Failing does not mean we are failures.
Lack of priorities- People make substitutes where they ought not to. Prioritizing requires discipline to do what needs to be done rather than going by our moods and fancies.
How do we cope with defeat and problems?
Our response to this question says a lot about our character. To understand our priorities is one of the keys to success. Success does not come only by reading or memorizing the principles that lead to success, but by understanding and applying.
Looking for shortcuts- Today we are living in the age of IT. Where everything is easily accessible. if we wish to find a answer of a query we go to Google and copies other ideas. This thing makes us lazy and prevent us to do hard work. On the other hand if we refer more than one book for our question we may enhance our knowledge it will remain with us for a long time. We should not look for shortcuts. It should be our attitude towards the life. The problem with today’s generation is that they want instant answers. They are looking for one-minute solutions to everything. Just like instant coffee, they want instant happiness. There are no quick fixes. This attitude leads us to failure.
Greed - Greed is like a cancer of the soul. It destroys our relationships. We can satisfied our need but not greed. It always wants more when we try to satisfied one wish, one more wish will come in our mind and we again run for satisfy it. The way is to get rid of it is to live with our available means and be satisfied. Being contented does not mean lacking ambition.
Law of attraction- There is a very famous proverb-“Birds of a feather flock together,” holds true. As successful people attract other successful people likewise negative people attract other negative people. Negative thinkers are dangerous. They think or expect the worst thing and they get that, this is the law of attraction it reflects our thinking in our life.
Not learning from past mistakes- If we have right perspective of life Failure became like a teacher, a mentor. We should learn from our past mistakes and try to never repeat it again. May be there is a delay but by the end of the day we win. Experience is the name of learning from our past mistakes.
Fear - Fear of failure can be worse than failure itself. Failure is the thing that could happen to any human being. Nobody is perfect in this world. We don’t try because of fear of failing. Before attempting there are a lots of fear come in our mind like fear of being unprepared, fear of making the wrong decision and fear of rejection. All these fears prevent us to attempt or try. Fear leads to anxiety and the common response to fear is escape. Fear results in insecurity, procrastination, and lack of confidence. It destroys our relationships and health.
Learning from failures
Use EQ to overcome from failure
Emotional intelligence refers to the person’s capacity for recognizing our own feelings and that of others,
Accept failure and be realistic- Honestly facing our “real failures” can help free us from a dark past and prepare us for a bright future. We should be realistic in our life. If we want to be perfect, we have to set ourselves up for disappointment. We should have courage to face the reality and learn from our past mistakes. People don’t take responsibility for their mistakes and frequently blame and mount attacks on others. As a result they rarely reach the acceptance stage, which could open them to learning and renewed long-term success. Our long-term success may well depend on our accepting, in the short run, when failure is really failure.
Be happy than to be right- Sometimes life can be pretty frustrating when it fails to deliver what we think it should. We go to restaurant when the waiter brings our sandwich with mayonnaise when we asked for mustard or when the new phone service doesn’t completely deliver what we thought it promised then we feel it is time to fight for what we deserve. We start battle. At these situations we should ask to ourselves “do I want to be right or to be happy? Standing up for what we think is right may provide a significant opportunity to share perspectives, learn, and come to a win/win solution that benefits all involved. Sometimes accepting a failure to get what we feel we rightfully deserve in specific circumstances can help us live more successfully overall.
Use EQ to succeed- In his significant book “Emotional Intelligence” Daniel Goleman has been focused on the concept of emotional intelligence (EQ). He suggests that a person’s EQ can be as important as IQ( Intelligence Quotient) for determining effectiveness and success. Among other strengths people with higher EQ tend to be more perceptive of hidden opportunities and interpersonal challenges that need to be addressed. By tapping into our emotional energy and our intuition, emotional intelligence can allow us to move beyond our success capacity based on only rational and intellectual intelligence. Since our emotions are highly interconnected with our thoughts, effectively managing our thought patterns. For instance, while making a presentation at work and we fail to present it in a good way. We might be thinking like “I really blew it or I came across as unprepared and incompetent. I am a lousy presenter.
In exchange of these negative thoughts, we could challenge our thinking with more constructive thoughts, such as “I only had few days to prepare my presentation and that I never had a chance to do practice. I did pretty well. It may not have been the best presentation ever made but I can learn from this and in the future, I will rehearse my presentations ahead of time”. When we adopt this kind of emotionally intelligent approach, it can help us to adjust and learn as we go so that we can harness the power of failure.
Facing mental storms- Our life is greatly affected by our moods. Even when we got succeed in life outwardly, we can experience a kind of inner failure and find ourselves feeling down. We feed with additional worry, frustration, sadness, or some other emotion and cause them to grow in their intensity until they really do seem like a big deal. On the other hand, if we just let the mood pass, we will find that those gloomy thoughts will give way to the more desirable ones that are right behind them.
An effective way to think about this is to view our thoughts and moods as inner storms. When a rainstorm blows in, we can get upset, shake our fist, and yell at it. Or we can just watch it run its course with mild interest and with full awareness that the sun will soon come out again. The same goes for our inner storms. By allowing these mental storms to blow on through, we allow our dark inner clouds to give way to inner light once again and the inner and outer success it can bring.
Discover success from pessimism- We all face times when things seem really bad, even hopeless. At these moments it is easy to become discouraged and to view the situation as strictly a negative obstacle to success and happiness. But many of these situations are actually valuable opportunities for greater success disguised as pending failures. The old expression “It’s always darkest before the dawn” points to the opportunities that frequently lie just beneath the dark surface. So when things get bad and pessimism abounds, don’t panic and back off. Remember, it was gravity itself that ultimately challenged and motivated us to fly. Instead of retreating, move in closer and look very carefully. Search for the treasures that can produce life’s greatest success opportunities when difficult circumstances are upon us time and again.
Both beauty and ugliness are in the eyes of the beholder-“Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder” is an old saying. Each one of us has a different reality in our own head. If we asked to make a speech, some of us will view it as a beautiful opportunity to successfully express our views and share what we know. Others will view it as a personal crisis, an occasion for failure that will publicly expose the embarrassed and unacceptable ugly duckling that we think we are.
These distinctions challenge us to look and look again at every situation we view as ugly for the beauty that is likely there but that we have a hard time seeing. One strategy is to simply ask for the insights of others who tend to think a bit differently than we do- “what possible opportunities do you see in this situation that I am struggling with? Even we can challenge ourselves to rethink the situation, to remember that beauty and ugliness are in the eye of the beholder.